TOW all the fanfictions
by Mississippi
Summary: C/m story. I dont really know how 2 write a summary ive summarized it on the first chapter so just read.....
1. Default Chapter

TOW all the Fanfictions  
  
This is intended to be a joke. I love reading Fan Fiction, but I find that it does get a little repetitive and the same ideas are constantly being done. That doesn't make them bad, but I thought I'd write the all time cliché fanfiction….. Please do not take offence if I have used one of your ideas, I've attempted to only use those ideas that appear in EVERY piece of fanfic.  
  
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters……  
  
  
  
The sun slowly rose over Monica's face. She looked like an angel Chandler thought. Chandler and Monica loved each other more than they could ever think imaginable. Just when they thought they couldn't love each other anymore, each day somehow they managed to. Chandler loved to watch her sleep, it made his morning. He was afraid that if he was asleep he'd miss something wonderful about her that would make him love her just that bit more.  
  
Chandler carried on watching Monica for what seemed like hours. He found that whenever he was with Monica he had no perception of time. Suddenly in ran their 2 year old son Matthew. Matthew looked exactly like Chandler. In fact Chandler was suspicious that Matthew was actually a clone of himself. He would never question Monica about it though, because he loved her too much, and was afraid of ever losing her.  
  
"Mum! Dad!" Matthew cried and bounded onto his parents waking Monica up and jolting Chandler out of staring lovingly at Monica.  
  
Matthew was incredibly intelligent for his age. He had begun speaking in the womb. He often gave marital advice to Ross and relationship advice to Joey for which they were incredibly thankful for.  
  
Monica decided it was time to wake up their other child, their 11 month old daughter Courteney. Naturally Courteney looked exactly like Monica, and again Chandler was very suspicious of that. Monica and Chandler had had another child called Bartholomew. Bartholomew had looked an exact combination of Monica and Chandler. He had Chandler's eyes and nose, and Monica's face shape, mouth and hair. Sadly Bartholomew had died at a very early age. At first Chandler felt very much to blame, but then decided even if he did blame himself and left Monica, he would inevitably come back, so instead he decided to stay from the beginning to save him self from the turmoil 19 heart breaking, emotionally damaging chapters.  
  
Once everyone was up Monica made them all breakfast. Chandler was running late for work so quickly gave Monica a passionate kiss before leaving for work.  
  
"Yuk!" said Courteney  
  
"Don't be so immature" replied Matthew "If only you were around Joey a bit more, you would find that mere declaration of love trivial"  
  
Before long breakfast was finished and Chandler was at work. Already chandler was missing Monica even though it had been five minutes. Chandler decided to give Monica a call after all it was there 4 year 3 month one week 11 day 9 hour 5 minute anniversary.  
  
"Hello?" Monica asked  
  
"Hey darling, I miss you"  
  
"I know Chandler, I miss you too"  
  
"I can't wait to see you tonight"  
  
"Me either baby, now I better get off to work Mississippi will be here soon"  
  
"Sure see you later honey, I love you"  
  
"I Love you too Chandler" and with that Monica hung up the phone.  
  
Chandler didn't have many friends at work. It didn't bother him though, as far as he was concerned he didn't need anyone as long as he had Monica, Courteney and Matthew. He wouldn't know what he would do without them; he hated to think about it.  
  
Monica was rushing around the house waiting for Mississippi, the kids' nanny and Monica's co-worker to arrive. She herself was running late for work. Soon there was a knock on the door. Monica went to answer it and was thankful to see Mississippi on the other side  
  
Monica quickly gave the kids a kiss goodbye thanked Mississippi and rushed out the door.  
  
Nothing really ever happened in Monica and Chandlers life. They never argued instead there conversations were filled with declaration of their love for each other. Matthew often spiced up their conversation with his views on the economy and other political matters. He would frequently tell his parents how he was not in need of a nanny and would be quite capable of looking after the entire family himself.  
  
That evening Monica arrived home late to find the children in bed and candles and roses decorating the entire apartment. She wasn't surprised this was how she greeted the apppartment every night as chandler insisted on celebrating every moment he shared with her.  
  
Monica was actually getting tired of it. She felt smothered and trapped. There was no way she could tell him though. It would kill him. What made it worse is that she was having a continuing affair with both Joey and Richard. Monica couldn't understand why, Chandler was in a different league to them in every category possible. What also made it worse was that she was pregnant, and she didn't know who the father was. She was sure it was chandlers and naturally they made love every second in pages of detailed explicit language. It often involved fancy dress, cream, honey, jam, coffee and handcuffs. The handcuffs were actually a means of Chandler fastening Monica to himself so he would never have to be without her when they went shopping, to central perk or to a restaurant. The affair with Richard had all started off when Monica had walked in on Chandler hugging Kathy. She immediately assumed the worse and run away to have an affair with Richard. Chandler had told her it was just a hug, which she accepted. She never told Chandler about the one time with Richard, but after that one time it developed into a fully-fledged affair.  
  
Monica walked into the bedroom to find Chandler there with a rose in his mouth and a big smile on his face. The big smile that used to make Monica melt at the knees, but now it did nothing for her. Monica was beginning to get worried, she felt guilty for being this cruel to Chandler, but something inside her was creeping up out of her, wanting to tell Chandler everything……  
  
  
  
Welllll? Should I continue? I hope no ones offended it's just a joke. Please R+R thanks. 


	2. Part 2

Part 2……and yes its far-fetched that's the idea……..Thanks to Belinda btw ;)  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters except Matthew, who is in fact Matthew Perry. If you have any available work for Matthew please email me and ill pass it on. Thanks.  
  
"Chandler……." Monica started  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"I'm having an affair, with Richard….and Joey"  
  
Chandlers face dropped. He couldn't understand why. It was his worst nightmare; he didn't see what Joey or Richard had that was better than him, because there wasn't, yet still Monica must have been a weird freak who decided that both Joey and Richard were better than Chandler. Chandler burst into tears. He hadn't cried since he'd stubbed his toe a week ago. Actually it was probably more recent that then. Chandler was always crying over really trivial things, mostly over his love for Monica. But right now he was crying for a different reason and couldn't even look at her. He walked straight past her and out the door. Without turning round he said  
  
"I thought….you used to be everything I never knew I thought I always wanted"  
  
Monica hated to see how much she'd hurt him, and couldn't understand why she had continued with her affairs, she didn't understand why she'd just told him everything. But she soon realised she'd forgotten to tell him the one thing that mattered, the one thing that perhaps meant Chandler would stay….  
  
Chandler had been roaming around New York for ages. Everything reminded him of her. He decided to get out of the city. He had forgiven Monica. But he needed to get out because he felt it was HIS fault, which naturally it was. He jumped in the first cab he could find and just asked the driver to drive. It was raining. He could barely see out of the window. The glaring lights of the car behind were the last thing he saw that night……  
  
"Monica Bing?"  
  
"Yes that's me"  
  
"I'm afraid your husbands been in a car accident, he's in a coma" Monica dropped the phone.  
  
"What?" Monica cried tears beginning to stream down her face; she had feared the worst when Chandler hadn't come home the night before as she always did even when she knew he was working late. She wasn't to blame for being worried as the majority of the time she had something to worry about. Usually he'd been attacked or was having an affair or had suffered from memory loss and couldn't find his way home. "I'll be right there!" Monica said, and hung up the phone.  
  
Chandler lay very still in hospital bed. It was the same hospital bed he had laid in numerous times. When he broke every bone in his body, and had various life threatening diseases and most of all the time when he lost Monica before and had died gone to heaven and been rewarded with a second chance. He looked so peaceful. Monica watched him, she felt so guilty. At one time he was everything-her prince, her soulmate, her best friend. She used to tell Chandler this all the time, until she decided that she actually didn't believe in soulmates. But Chandler was always so romantic, and no one EVER knew that. Despite being incredibly romantic there were few complimentary sentences Chandler could tell her multiple times that she was the most beautiful woman in most rooms. But right now she needed to move away, it was best for everyone. Even though she loved her kids very much, they wouldn't mind staying with Ross and Rachel until Chandler woke up. Whenever that was…  
  
"Chandler honey, I don't know if you cant here me right now but I wanted to tell you I'm sorry. I still love you, I don't even know why I did what I did, and I really am truly sorry. What I'm about to do now, it's for the best I promise you"  
  
With that she left the room closing the door behind her, never to see Chandler again.  
  
* 3 YEARS LATER *  
  
"Chandler, open your eyes….your in a hospital bed"  
  
"Whaaat? Where am I?"  
  
"Chandler, I'm Dr Carter, 3 years ago you were in an accident, you've been in a coma"  
  
"SHIT?!" Chandler was very shocked. He was also shocked by the likeness the doctor had to Noah Wyle. Chandler looked out to see if it was snowing as it always did in ER despite the fact it was filmed in California. To Chandlers disappointment it was sunny.  
  
The Dr continued to explain to Chandler what had happened. Chandler couldn't believe it. Chandler had suffered from retrograde amnesia, a kind of amnesia that meant Chandler couldn't remember anything 4 hours before the accident. That meant he couldn't remember what happened between him and Monica. He was desperate to see his children and wife.  
  
His children bounded through the door happy to see him. They had been to see him every day, and Chandler was shocked to see how much they had grown. Chandler was very proud of the fact that Matthew had graduated from Harvard University with a degree in Astrophysics. There was someone missing though. Where was Monica?  
  
Rachel and Ross told Chandler of how Monica had left, they didn't know why, but they said something probably happened between them in the 4 hours that Chandler couldn't remember. Chandler suddenly remembered something. Monica had told him she was leaving and that it was for the best, but he couldn't remember why….  
  
* 1 YEAR LATER *  
  
Chandler hadn't been himself, he was never happy; he was constantly worried about Monica. He had been living in sweats for the past year. The apartment was messy. Monica would have hated it. The worst thing about the apartment was that it only had three walls and lots of cameras, and each week 30million people would watch him at 8pm on Thursdays on NBC meaning he had no privacy. His friends were worried about him. He barely ate. He either slept all day or worked until the early hours. Not even Matthew could advise him on what to do. Chandler was lucky in that despite being in a coma he could speak perfectly coherently and had no other side effects. He had been admitted out of hospital the day he had woken up. The Drs had told him that he was unlikely to remember the 4 hours before his accident. Over the 3 years Chandler had developed into a much more mature man, his former kid self a mere shadow of his grown self. Naturally Monica would have found this incredibly attractive had she been around. He needed to get away for a bit. Luckily his work had offered him a months work in the Gobi desert. Immediately Chandler went for the idea, kissed the kids goodbye and flew straight there.  
  
Chandler had been at work all week. There was no one anywhere around, it was empty. It gave him time to sit and think and be alone. He soon became thirsty and needed a drink, so he decided to take a break and walk to the nearest oasis.  
  
It was so hot and Chandler kept hallucinating. He'd been walking for hours and couldn't find any water. He suddenly heard his voice in the distance. "No…it can't be.." Chandler thought, he saw Monica up ahead he thought. He assumed it must just be another mirage. But then it became clearer and soon he was standing face to face with Monica and a small boy.  
  
"CHANDLER I CANT BELIEVE ITS YOU!!!!!!" Monica screamed.  
  
FATE.  
  
Chandler stood there shocked. He didn't know what to think. He looked down at the small boy. There was something about him, in his piercing blue eyes, and something about the mole on his right cheek, he had some distinctive scars on his head as well, no doubt from a hockey match, chandler could also tell that the child was also probably a very good tennis player.  
  
"Chandler, meet Chandler Bing jr"  
  
Chandler couldn't believe his ears. Monica had been having an affair and had the cheek to call someone else's son after him. Again Chandler couldn't look at her and ran away leaving her and Chandler Jr alone in the desert.  
  
Chandler ran back to his small desert accommodation. He threw himself on his bed and cried. Suddenly something caught his eye in his suitcase. What? A letter that had been sent to Monica that Chandler had unnoticed and never read and no doubt contained some incredibly secret that would change Chandlers life? It couldn't be……..or could it?  
  
Sarah McLaughlan Angel….WHY? Because its NEVER been used in a Fic before……(sung by Chandler naturally….)  
  
Spend all your time waiting  
  
for that second chance  
  
for a break that would make it okay  
  
there's always one reason  
  
to feel not good enough  
  
and it's hard at the end of the day  
  
I need some distraction  
  
oh beautiful release  
  
memory seeps from my veins  
  
let me be empty  
  
and weightless and maybe  
  
I'll find some peace tonight  
  
in the arms of an angel  
  
fly away from here  
  
from this dark cold hotel room  
  
and the endlessness that you fear  
  
you are pulled from the wreckage  
  
of your silent reverie  
  
you're in the arms of the angel  
  
may you find some comfort there  
  
so tired of the straight line  
  
and everywhere you turn  
  
there's vultures and thieves at your back  
  
and the storm keeps on twisting  
  
you keep on building the lie  
  
that you make up for all that you lack  
  
it don't make no difference  
  
escaping one last time  
  
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh  
  
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees  
  
in the arms of an angel  
  
fly away from here  
  
from this dark cold hotel room  
  
and the endlessness that you fear  
  
you are pulled from the wreckage  
  
of your silent reverie  
  
you're in the arms of the angel  
  
may you find some comfort there  
  
you're in the arms of the angel  
  
may you find some comfort here  
  
  
  
Hope your enjoying it and still finding it funny…should I continue? Please R+R. 


	3. part 3

Part 3  
  
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters…..  
  
Naturally a change of tense is oddly required, despite the fact that so far it has been written in the past. And also, naturally, it's Chandlers POV…  
  
I see the white envelope, I reach out to open it, it reads:  
  
Dear Chandler  
  
I'm glad you have finally got to read my letter. Of course it has taken you 4 years to find this letter, or maybe you already have but haven't even considered opening it until now, and obviously it contains a piece of information that will change your life forever. No one in real life ever writes letters like this but here it is.  
  
I'm sorry I've left you. It's all for the best, I promise you. But I think that you should probably know that you have a son, another son. His name is Chandler Bing Jr.  
  
All my love  
  
Monica  
  
XX  
  
I can't believe it. He's my son. Even with a degree at NYU and even though I am the most intelligent 'friend, Ross may think he is but what use is knowing about animals that have been dead for millions of years? I couldn't have figured it out, hell Joey could have worked this one out. How could I have been so stupid, his eyes, his everything about him is me.  
  
  
  
I sit here waiting, and thinking what to do. I need to find Monica. But this was the desert. But this was Fanfiction. I leave the apartment and go into the desert; I know somehow in the predictable world that I live in that I will be able to find Monica.  
  
I search for hours, even though she is likely to be in the most obvious place, I have to search there the very last. I decide after a while to go to that obvious place: the restaurant we went to on our first date. Naturally it's a chain restaurant, which has many outlets over the world including the Gobi desert.  
  
She is sitting there with her….my son. He has ice cream all over his face. He looks so cute. I stand here looking at them for what seems like ages. Now I pluck up the courage to step inside.  
  
"Monica….." I can barely speak the words, tears forming in my eyes "I read the letter……..I know"  
  
"Chandler" she looks at me with dazzling sapphire eyes " I love you"  
  
I can't believe she said it, after all this time, she still loves me.  
  
"Please Monica, lets start again, lets start over"  
  
"Yes, Chandler, we can"  
  
I can't believe it was that easy. Despite the fact she cheated on me, despite the fact she left our children, and me and despite the fact that she had a child for three years without me knowing about, I can forgive her without any sense of regret. I would never be that easy in real life. It was that easy, we could start again just like that and be back to how we were.  
  
I look at my son, who is looking back at me with questioning eyes.  
  
"Hey son" I tell him "I'm your daddy"  
  
"Oh…ok!" He said and gave me a hug, it was incredibly easy for him to accept that, and ask no questions. But it always seemed like that whenever I met my secret 11 children that I had all which were Monica's.  
  
It has been three weeks. Three great weeks, everything is back to normal and fine, despite everything that we've been through. I love her so much, every time I look at her, I cant believe I survived for so long without her.  
  
The doorbell rings, and I go to answer it. Mississippi is there ready to look after the children. Mississippi was naturally 15 and had an attitude problem, and was very similar to the author of this who felt she needed to add in a character based entirely on herself. As neither me nor Monica ever go to work it seems weird that we have a baby sitter, but it means Monica and me have more time to spend together. Mississippi has only come back since Monica's return. She works with Monica at the weekends. I haven't seen her in ages, its nice to see her again. Even with the little time I spend with her I still manage to have an inexplicable bond with her, like she's part of our family.  
  
I greet her, pleased to see her again after so long. I don't know if it's my memory loss that's affected me but I suddenly notice something strange about Mississippi, something I've never noticed but can't quite explain what it is.  
  
"Hey Miss Bing, thanks for coming over at such short notice" Monica says  
  
I suddenly stop in my tracks "Why Miss Bing?" I question.  
  
"Because that would be my surname…" Mississippi quipped  
  
Again there's that feeling, somewhere in the pit of my stomach, I don't know what it is.  
  
"Yeah…." I reply, confused.  
  
There was something about Mississippi, she was sarcastic and quippy, and had the exact characteristics of someone whose gay father had left them when they were 9 years old for the butler boy. I just couldn't put my finger on what it was that gave me the strange feeling.  
  
"OMG!" I cried " I had a sister, her name was Mississippi! There can't be TWO Mississippi Bings can there?"  
  
Everything suddenly came together; I had again failed to recognize my own relatative even though the evidence was painfully obvious. I guess it was just because it all seemed to be to unrealistic. I guess my life was like that though, what with nine comas, 14 near death experiences, reincarnated 4 times, 13 children, 12 of which were secret ones I knew nothing about, 3 long lost sisters, and identical twin, and the fact my father was secretly an alien from Pluto. At least I had been lucky enough to find the love of my life and be able to forgive her no matter what she did.  
  
I run up and hug my long lost sister; I can't believe I have found her after so long. I had searched many times before, phone directories, detective agencies, everything. It doesn't seem possible that she could be right in front of you- working with your wife, and looking after your children. I have so many questions and so much to catch up on with my sister………..  
  
  
  
Should I continue??????? Its getting a bit crap now I feel……. 


End file.
